We know that we made a big deal in years past about being vegetarian. We tried to do vegan, too, but we got all sickly and weak and didn’t have the emotional capacity or wherewithal to look into vitamins and other such snake oil products. Still, we didn’t eat meat for a very long time, and we were for sure sanctimonious about it. Also? We felt like shit most of the time. Which is to say, we’re back on meat now at least some of the time, and we feel a lot better.
At the risk of spurring a bunch of letters from dreadlock owners about how much we suck and how we haven’t tried this or that product, the decision was ultimately not that hard once we committed. See, when you don’t eat meat for a long time, you tend to start making that your personality, and we felt a bit of guilt over introducing meat dishes back into our life following years of stupid salads and disappointing meat knockoffs. Honestly, though, we were never in the vegetarian game for political or health reasons—we just kind of wanted to see if we could do it. And do it we did, but in the end, our return to meat came down to three major reasons:
Economical
It’s so much easier to get meat stuff because everyone wants it and it is plentiful. We know a lot of it sucks in terms of quality, environmental impact and the whole killing part, but since we aren’t eating meat with every freaking meal, we’ve managed to find some cost-effective ways to get sated. We make sure to get stuff of better repute than chains and provenance-less steak-in-plastic-with-no-mention-of-animal-treatment, which kind of forces us to be thoughtful about what and when we’re spending.
Taste
When the Impossible Burger flared into existence, we willed ourselves to say we loved it because it was at least a new option. In reality, it always tasted to us the way wet newspapers smell. When the Beyond Burger flared into existence, we took a similar tack and pretended not to notice that it smelled like cat food when we were cooking it—or that we had to put so much green chile and sauces and cheeses on the thing to swallow the taste. We’re here to say Morning Star brekkie sausages are totally good, but now that the bloom is off the rose with the meatless meat industry, we’re kind of pumped to not worry about it anymore. It’s kind of like that Parks & Rec episode wherein Rob Lowe’s character immediately concedes that a beef burger is better than a turkey burger or whatever other things we force into burger shape.
The Feels
Again, we tried, but we’re pretty sure we became anemic no matter how many supplements and spinaches and kales we ingested. Our doctor even told us that there are just some folks who can’t go vegetarian, and we might be one of them. We didn’t do any tests about that, we just believed her and went to town on a pork chop that very day. We get that your acupuncturist is like, “naw, hippies, you’re right about not eating meat,” but Western medicine rules! Anyway, now that we’re kielbasa-ing at least once a week, we have our pep back and we can do backflips and also we can do advanced mathematics and see time and basically all that stuff Scarlett Johansson does in the movie Lucy. We know you haven’t seen it, but take our word for it that she smart. Frankly, we’ve been at The Fork for a long time, which means we’re old, and if we can do any simple thing that’s gonna make us feel a little better, we’re going to do that thing. Sorry, everyone.
We wish it weren’t true, but it’s true.
Also
- While we’re heartbroken that the stupid New Mexican scooped us on a food thing (they have a bigger staff, and we actually have nothing but love for colleagues), we’re still pumped that Santa Fe’s Okwen Foma and Djibril Sylla have finally pulled the trigger on their forthcoming Midtown restaurant/music venue Farafina. Here’s the gist: Caribbean and African food and also live music. Dope. Not only that, but we’ve met Sylla on several occasions over the years, and he’s the coolest dude…just, like, a real good guy and sweetheart and full of kindness. Dudes like that don’t partner with scumbags, probably, so we’re here for it. Learn more through this link.
- If you haven’t joined the Santa Fe Foodies Facebook group, maybe you should, especially since Midtown taco joint (they do other stuff, too) Escondido is offering a 20% discount for people who show a specific image posted in that group. Here’s a link to that group, and here’s an interview from 2022 with its founder, Robert “Barefoot for Some Reason” McCormick.
- One last reason to maybe join that Facebook group? It’s where we learned that the Manhattan Avenue Deli (being a deli on Manhattan Avenue) has opened orders for a special Rosh Hashanah dinner through Sept. 19. The holiday itself kicks off Sept. 22 this year, so’s you know.
- We’ve mentioned this gathering once or twice before, but as far as we know, the Sept. 13 Foraging in Northern NM class from Zia Elemental School of Permaculture and Herbalism will be the last of the year. In the class, you’ll learn some foraging basics. SFR has a cool primer on that by foraging expert and author Gina Rae La Cerva from a previous Summer Guide, too.
- Apparently the powers that be in Los Alamos County are looking for folks to take over the restaurant at Cottonwood on the Greens, the restaurant at the Los Alamos County Golf Course. Since everything we know about golf is derived from 1980s comedy and/or Happy Gilmore, we assume they’ll want the type of restaurant people who know what cherries jubilee is and also how to something or other with martinis and such. Please note we’re joking around and don’t know what they want, but it seems wise to do a restaurant at a palace with built-in hungry people. The Los Alamos Daily Post has more info than we do.
This is literally what we think golf is like…
Also
- We don’t hate this new candy from Sweethearts, the company that makes those chalky conversation hearts that stuff stuff like “U+Me=Bone City:” Ghosted. The short version is that there just ain’t no messages on these hearts, baby, and it’s reportedly a nod to how 84% of Zoomers and Millennials say they’ve been ghosted at some point or another. We like the commentary of giving someone a box of blank conversation hearts, though they’ll never be as good as the custom ones we ordered that all read “Ass Good.”
- Since autumn turns all of us into basic bitches, we’re well aware how psyched up people are about pumpkin spice this ’n’ that from whatever place sells it. Still, there’s a king of that stuff, and it’s that one coffee shop. You know what we mean. But what does one do when Starbucks is expensive and also a pretty jacked-up company that doesn’t deserve your loyalty like your local shop does? Make that shit at home. Food site Food52-dot-com has just the instructions you need to be sipping that nonsense like you just came back from the gigantic hat and thigh-high boots with jeans store!
- Oh, hello, Civil Eats-dot-com! We’re psyched to learn this site exists, even if the term “eats” makes our skin crawl. The mission is right there in huge letters on the homepage: Food + Policy. This means there’s all kinds of interesting stories about community and farms and the people who work in food systems from various angles. We just think this one’s worth a bookmark, and now you know, too.
Finally
We’ve been thinking a lot about desserts we might include in this outro section now that our email situation is so weird, so we went out and tried some things and have a suggestion for you all. Now, regular readers likely know that we’ve had quite a thing for coconut whipped cream lately (it’s dairy-free!), and now we’re all about the vanilla coconut pudding from Zen. Here’s a link—you should try it.
